Wednesday 9 September 2009

Ten Foreign Flops

HAS EVER the sale of a Brazilian international striker been met with such relief? The Afonso Alves transfer saga drew to a whimpered close over the weekend – a fitting end to his torrid stint on Teesside which yielded just 13 goals in 49 appearances.

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Alves: Boro's worst foreign player of the last 15 years?

Boro smashed their transfer record to sign Alves from Heerenveen 18 months or so ago. But, like Mateja Kezman, he found the net a little harder to hit in the Premier League than in the Dutch Eredivisie.

It is believe the club lost £6.7m on the 28-year-old. Now, that might sound bad, but six million quid for a bloke who looks like Shrek and plays like Donkey is a cracking result. Thank God (and oil) for those bottomless Qatari pockets.

But where does Alves rank amongst MFC’s other overseas failures in recent years? Here’s my guide to Boro’s ten biggest foreign flops of the Riverside era...

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10. Jan-Aage Fjortoft (1995-1997): The Norwegian will be fondly remembered for some memorable strikes towards the end of the 1994/95 title-winning season after Bryan Robson shelled out a then club record of £1.3m to prise him from Swindon Town. However, the lanky centre-forward struggled to make an impact in the Premier League and was soon on his way to Sheff Utd after a certain Fabrizio Ravanelli arrived on Teesside.

9. Massimo Maccarone (2002-2007): Ex-Itailian U21 whiz kid who arrived at Boro with a reputation for hitting wonder goals for Empoli in Serie B. Unfortunately, the £8.15m man couldn’t re-create such form at the Riverside and was shipped out on loan to Italy after two mis-firing seasons in a red shirt. But Maccarone did return in the 2004/05 season to secure his place in MFC folklore with last-minute winners in the UEFA Cup semi- and quarter-finals.

8. Mido (2007-2009): Eight clubs in seven seasons tells you all you need to know about the Egyptian international. He scored seven goals in 32 appearances for Boro after Gareth Southgate paid £6m to Tottenham in the hope of plugging the void left by Mark Viduka and Yakubu. But Mido was injured too often and sulked when he wasn’t selected. The former Ajax and Roma player was loaned out to Wigan for the second half of last season where he fared little better, and is now back in his homeland playing for Zamalek.

7. Jaime Moreno (1994-1996 & 1997-1998): Originally a £250,000 signing for Robbo a couple of months after he represented Bolivia at the ‘94 World Cup aged 20. But the nippy forward couldn’t disrupt the successful little-and-large duo of Hendrie and Wilkinson, managing only three goals before moving to the MLS. And Moreno netted just once when he made a shock loan return to the Riverside two years later.

6. Christian Karembeu (2000-2001): The World Cup winner’s best days were undoubtedly behind him when he signed from Real Madrid in Robson’s final pre-season as boss. El Tel got a bit more out of him as Boro’s form picked up at the back of end the 2000/01 campaign, but Karembeu wasn’t missed when he moved to Olympiakos after we secured our Premier League survival. His presence wasn’t all bad, though – remember his missus modelling the away top?

5. Tony Vidmar (2002-2003): Clueless Aussie defender who made just nine league starts under Steve McClaren after joining on a free from Rangers. After five seasons dealing with the strike-forces of Dundee and St Mirren, the lanky left-footer perhaps wanted to test himself against the likes of Shearer and Henry. He must have wished – like most Boro fans – he didn’t. The team conceded a glut of goals when he was left to marshal the defence. So bad was Vidmar that he convinced many a Riverside regular that Andrew Davies was a promising centre-half. Nuff said, really.

4. Michael Reiziger (2004-05): Yet another seasoned international singed by Stevie Mac to last just one season on Teesside. As in Karembeu’s case, the 72-capped Dutchman had his best playing days behind him. By the end of his stint on Teesside, Reiziger was playing understudy to Stuart Parnaby for the right-back position. His woeful performances did have an upside, however – the Janet Street-Porter lookalike’s regular injury bouts paved the way for an 18-year-old Tony McMahon to get some useful first-team experience.

3. Branco (1996-1997): After snapping up the 48-year-old World Cup winner on a free transfer in 2006, Bryan Robson wrote in his programme notes: “I have rated Branco as one of the best left-backs for several years now.” I bet Robbo didn’t think the same six months later. The Brazilian – with about as much pace as Robbie Mustoe and the guile of Phil Whelan – looked as though he hadn’t played the game since lifting the Jules Rimet trophy a year-and-a-half earlier. At least his reputation as a free-kick specialist was true...

2. Carlos Marinelli (1999-2004): One in a long line of Argentines hailed as the “next Maradona” when Robson spent £1.5m to bring the two-footed “wonder kind” to the Boro. It didn’t take long for fans to realise the search for Diego’s successor wasn’t over. Marinelli started 18 Premier League games for the club before leaving on a free transfer. You always felt it was going to be difficult for Carlos to break into his national side when Allan Johnston was keeping out of MFC’s starting XI.

1. Afonso Alves (2008-2009): £12.8m. 49 games. 13 goals. No nouse. No physical presence. Just awful. So long.
*Notable omissions include Lee Dong-Gook, Paul Okon, Brad Jones and Szilard Nemeth

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