Thursday 20 August 2009

Highlights Hell

IT’S SATURDAY, 11.15pm, and I’ve gotten over the fact that Matt Le Tissier and Paul Merson won’t be discussing my club during the Soccer Saturday build-up any more.

I’ve also gotten over the fact that one team let me down on my accumulator (cheers, Villa). And I’ve even gotten over the fact that my club aren’t as important as Stoke and Burnley after watching Match of the Day.

But none of that matters. The Football League Show is about to begin and my club won a game for the first time in ages.

I don’t mind the achingly long lottery results re-cap (who plays Lotto Daily Play, by the way?). I’m about to witness evidence that Boro hit three goals away from home for the first time since January 2007 to help record their first victory on the road in nine months.

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Marvin Emnes struck a fine second in the weekend win at Swansea

First, though, us viewers are treated the goals from the Newcastle game. I mean, it was live on TV a couple of hours ago, but not everyone has Sky, so fair enough.

Oh, then there is the featured game – a dour 0-0 between Ipswich and Leicester. It’s okay, Marvin Emnes's cracking strike will surely be up next...

No. Instead, further sleep-provoking analysis from Steve Claridge as he sways from side to side like he’s on stage with the Black Eyed Peas. But not before – in a vain attempt to liven up the broadcast – viewers’ texts and e-mails are read aloud with feigned interest by the blandly attractive, oxymoron-inducing Jacqui Oatley. Yawn.

Then, I am subjected to ‘Clem’s Gems’. This piece of TV innovation involves Boro fan and Five Live reporter Mark Clemmit reading a quirky tale from the world of football to a camera. Very good – but any chance of seeing some, y’know, football?

I was pleased when BBC won the Football League highlights from ITV. But it seems that, because it’s on straight after MOTD, they’ve felt the need to fiddle with the classic highlights format as well as building a set that resembles Dr Evil’s underground lair.

A brilliant interview with Neil Warnock over ‘the goal that never was’ at Ashton Gate saved the first half-hour of the show. I feel sorry for the Palace players, but it couldn’t have happened to a nicer manager or chairman, could it?

As much as I enjoyed listening to the pissed-off Warnock, it had nothing on the ninety seconds of footage which documented Boro’s 3-0 win at Swansea. This might all seem a little over-indulgent to non-Boro fans, but highlights shows have been best avoided on Teesside for the best part of a year.
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Adam Johnson has showed his Premier League pedigree over the past week

The performance itself was pleasing, although Swansea were without three key midfielders and are adjusting to life without boss Roberto Martinez and striking lynchpin Jason Scotland.
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More impressive was Tuesday night’s follow-up at Scunthorpe, where Boro did a professional job against hard-working and confident opponents at Glanford Park. And as in the game at the Liberty Stadium, an added bit of quality in the final third in the shape of Adam Johnson helped secured the three points.

Games come thick and fast in the Championship and the home clash with Doncaster this weekend presents an altogether different task. Like Sheffield United on the opening day, most teams will come to the Riverside content to return with a point.

Away from home, Boro are a dangerous counter-attacking outfit with the pace of Emnes and Johnson. But it will prove tougher for us to play our way through teams who set their stall out to defend, which puts a bigger onus on set-pieces. Not a problem, I wouldn’t have thought, with the presence of the Redcar Rock and the Berlin Wall – not to mention the so-far excellent delivery from Johnson and Mark Yeates.

Though rather anxiously, there’s still no telling who’ll be with us beyond the next couple of weeks. Twelve days remain before the transfer window slams shut and Boro fans can only hope the speculation surrounding star men Robert Huth and Gary O’Neil is little more than paper talk.

To add to our meantime woes, Ajax have reportedly cooled their interest in the thoroughly unwanted Afonso Alves, while it looks certain that the club will be forced to accept a cut-price deal for crowd favourite Tuncay.

Might it have been better for the Middlesbrough FC hierarchy to keep schtum about the club’s piss poor finances? Potential buyers now hold the upper hand, fully aware that Boro need to sell and are likely to accept any reasonable offer so close to the end of the window.

Tuncay could potentially leave for as little £4 million, which would make the £3 million touted by Derby County for Rob Hulse earlier this summer look even more expensive than it did at first glance.

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